He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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