im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
