weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
