My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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