sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Im part way to drunk.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
