im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
