Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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