i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
