My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I intend to get homeless drunk
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
