she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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