dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
