pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
