Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
