I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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