I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
