We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
