These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
