Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
