So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
