as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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