3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
