what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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