another moral hangover. fuck.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
