i just identified you from a description of your pipe
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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