I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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