belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
