So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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