Quick, to the slutcave!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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