i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
