Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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