You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
