They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
