She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize