I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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