I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Your tits are I can't wait for
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize