HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
