I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize