Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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