Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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