so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize