if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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