wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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