He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
