Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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