He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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