If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
