You made me cry and you don't even care
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
