hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
