never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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