does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize