Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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