How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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