Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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