cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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