he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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