Slut skills are useful in every country.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
