This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
