Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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