is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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