Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
