I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
