So drunk its hurt
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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