In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
