Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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