did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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