Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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