Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
