At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
