Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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