I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she pinky promised me she was 18
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
